Gilbert and Sullivan adaptation: Ze’s version

“When I was a (non-binary) lad”

A Gilbert and Sullivan adaptation 

When I was an undergrad 

I served a term

As teaching assistant in the Academy 

I learned all the fads

Like a parrot can be, that 

Now I am a full professor of philosophy 

(Now ze is a full professor of philosophy)

As graduate student 

I made such a name

That a research assistant I soon became

I studied the critical theories 

To pass the dissertation in the academy 

(To pass the dissertation in the academy) 

I learned social justice so well

That I was made the chair of philosophy 

I always quoted the decolonizers 

And I never thought of thinking for myself at all

(Ze never thought of thinking for Zeself at all)

I thought so little

They rewarded me

By making me a full professor of philosophy

(Ze thought so little they rewarded ze by making ze a full professor of philosophy) 

Now undergrads whoever you may be

If you want to rise to the top of the tree

If your soul isn’t fettered to Marxist theory 

Stick close to the latest fads

And never look to see

What it is to actually practice philosophy