“When I was a (non-binary) lad”
A Gilbert and Sullivan adaptation
When I was an undergrad
I served a term
As teaching assistant in the Academy
I learned all the fads
Like a parrot can be, that
Now I am a full professor of philosophy
(Now ze is a full professor of philosophy)
As graduate student
I made such a name
That a research assistant I soon became
I studied the critical theories
To pass the dissertation in the academy
(To pass the dissertation in the academy)
I learned social justice so well
That I was made the chair of philosophy
I always quoted the decolonizers
And I never thought of thinking for myself at all
(Ze never thought of thinking for Zeself at all)
I thought so little
They rewarded me
By making me a full professor of philosophy
(Ze thought so little they rewarded ze by making ze a full professor of philosophy)
Now undergrads whoever you may be
If you want to rise to the top of the tree
If your soul isn’t fettered to Marxist theory
Stick close to the latest fads
And never look to see
What it is to actually practice philosophy
Cute. So says the Christian conservative man who did make it to professor at a liberal public university. Am I to assume that you sold your soul to get there? I doubt it. Just doesn’t seem like you. Nice poem though. :o)