How Debates Work

The Money: Our lives are literally at risk!

Clear Thinker: That’s terrible. You need to call campus security.

The Money: They don’t care. They won’t do anything.

Clear Thinker: If you have a threat on your life, you bet they’ll care. And if they don’t, then hire a lawyer and sue the police department for negligence. If someone ends up dead after they ignored a call for help, they’re in it deep.

The Money: They only care about physical violence.

Clear Thinker: I thought that’s what this was about.

The Money: No. They want to erase us from history.

Clear Thinker: By physically killing you?

The Money: No, by disagreeing with our beliefs and persuading others not to agree with us.

Clear Thinker: Wait… that’s what you meant when you said your lives are literally at risk?

The Money: Yes. They want to erase us by showing that our beliefs are contradictory and false.

Clear Thinker: That’s just called a debate.

The Money: This one is aimed at an entire group.

Clear Thinker: Well… I mean, they always are, right? Both sides of a debate involve groups.

The Money: But if they have their way, no one will believe what we believe!

Clear Thinker: Yes, and if you have your way, no one will believe what they believe.

The Money: That’s because their beliefs are hateful and bigoted.

Clear Thinker: Did they say they hate you?

The Money: No, they said they care about us and want us to know the truth so we can have mental health.

Clear Thinker: That doesn’t sound hateful. It sounds like they just fundamentally disagree with you about the nature of reality.

The Money: Whatever it is, they need to be locked up. They shouldn’t be allowed on campus. I’m all for free speech, but they shouldn’t have it anymore because they don’t agree with me and that hurts my feelings.

Clear Thinker: Having hurt feelings isn’t always bad.

The Money: It sounds like you are now literally threatening my life.