ASU professors cause Ze mental anguish

Ze puts the hair clippers down and admires Ze’s shaved head. “Now men won’t find me attractive,” thinks Ze, “I’ll show them.” Ze is in mourning. Men must be punished. Ze’s life is in shambles; it has been for decades; why didn’t they listen to Ze and vote how Ze told them?

Ze needs to talk to Ze’s counselor. Therapy is needed. Why? Because Ze was told that if Trump wins, Ze will be imprisoned and forced to breed. Ze doesn’t want to be forced to breed. Maybe imprisoned if it is part of Ze’s sex therapy. But not in a Trump prison.

Who told Ze that Ze would be imprisoned and forced to breed? Who caused this mental anguish for Ze? Two ASU professors, speaking as employees of ASU, at an ASU-sponsored event, to ASU students. That is as official as it gets.

What Ze can’t understand is why so many Americans voted for imprisonment and forced breeding. Don’t they listen to ASU professors? Don’t they watch CNN and MSNBC? Ze can’t read ratings, so Ze doesn’t know that no one watches those channels.

But Ze also gets news from Ze’s friends on social media. And all of them said that Trump is a fascist. And Ze thinks fascists are bad. Once, Ze was asked what a fascist is—Ze’s answer: someone who imprisons you and forces you to breed.

Ze’s mental health is not good. Ze is on the verge of a total life collapse. Ze recorded a TikTok video of Ze’s primal scream. Ze’s therapist and Tears for Fears said screaming is good for Ze. Ze must get to the therapist. Hopefully, Ze can schedule sessions twice a day for a while.

Ze doesn’t understand why people won’t listen to Ze and do what Ze tells them. If Ze had Ze’s way, Ze would set up a government that did everything Ze believed about the world. Ze would make people do what Ze thinks is good for them. And Ze would round up the bad people (Ze can tell who is bad by their skin color) and put them in camps where they could never hurt anyone else again.

But Ze knows that won’t happen now that Trump is going to imprison Ze and force Ze to breed. Thankfully, Ze has ASU professors to guide Ze.